I'm still standing...

I don't have it all together, I don't always know how to respond when things are awkward, difficult, uncomfortable or out of my comfort zone. I wish I did but I don't and I'm learning to be okay with that and not punish myself for it. I'm learning to not always run away from agonising situations because that's honestly my first instinct.

Some time ago, I got into a situation that was an opportunity for growth but was oh so uncomfortable and galling, I felt like running away from it. So my initial instinct was to start conjuring up reasons to avoid the situation and I came up with a lot! The one thing I've observed is that, when I face such situations, more often than not, I'll come up with more reasons to leave than stay because I'm obviously already distressed. I attribute some of this to my flight or fight response but most of it to my own perspective of the situation and the root cause of that perspective.

Anyway, I was randomly scrolling online and a clip from the movie Evan Almighty popped up and this is the scene where Morgan Freeman who plays God says, "If someone prays for patience, do you think God gives them patience or opportunities to be patient? If they prayed for courage, does God give them courage or opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for their family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings or does He give them opportunities to love each other?"

Divine moment or not, this clip made me reflect on my own situation. There are different character attributes I've been praying for and perhaps this situation is the answer to my prayer. If I pray for tenacity, strength, patience etc., it's highly unlikely that God will just wave a magic wand and suddenly make me have these attributes, but it's more likely that He'll put me in situations that will help me develop tenacity, strength, patience etc. So this is now the perspective that I'm actively choosing to apply to this situation and it's been helping, better than anything else I've tried to do so far.

So because of this perspective...I'm still dealing with the situation. I haven't run away from it...therefore I have decided to take this as a win for the day and celebrate the fact that I haven't ran away because this is a big deal for me. I don't know what tomorrow holds but for today, I'm holding onto this win...I'm still standing!🏆

Catch you in the next post!

Chich