Apologise anyway...

So ages ago, I said something that I thought was funny in the moment, to someone I occasionally joked around with until I later realised it wasn't funny at all.

Let's give this certain someone a fictitious name, Jane (how original lol). Anyway, Jane and I's conversations were usually full of light banter that would sometimes dillydally into cheeky or sarcastic banter, but it was always done in good faith with no ill intentions meant.

On one specific occasion, ages ago, I jokingly said something sassy to Jane and in the context of the conversation we were already having, I thought my comment was fitting. Jane laughed it off and we went about our day and I never thought anything of this conversation again until I was recently reminded of it.

I ran into Jane some time later and she mentioned the conversation we had ages ago and what I specifically said to her. I won't mention what I said because I now think it was in poor taste regardless of the circumstances, it wasn't a cuss or anything like that by the way. Anyway, we randomly bumped into each other later on and she reminded me of this specific conversation, I was surprised she still remembered it but I didn't think too much of it until she mentioned it twice more when we bumped into each other again. I knew I had to apologise and I did.

You know how people try to laugh off something they find offensive or hurtful? I knew this was one of those moments and in this case I recognised that I'd offended Jane with the joke I'd told ages ago. It's happened to me too, more frequently than I'd like to admit, someone's made a joke about me or teased me about something that I think was hurtful, rude or offensive. And instead of expressing its offensive/hurtful/rude nature, I pretentiously laugh it off so as to not confront the person that said it, ruin the moment or seem weak.

Maya Angelou once said something about how people will often remember how you make them feel above what you say or do. I can't presume how that joke affected Jane or how it made her feel, maybe it triggered an insecurity, I don't know, but I certainly know that sometimes comments made or conversations held in the name of humour can trigger adverse and unpleasant feelings and responses. A sincere apology (no matter how late), might not fix the damage caused but it for sure lightens conversations and acts as a catalyst for meaningful relationships.

In my case, I feel like the apology has lifted off the guilt and tension I was carrying from feeling so bad about what I said to Jane after realising that it actually got to her. We may never joke around the same way we used to but I was brave enough to admit my wrong and apologise for it, that matters.

Reminder - sometimes the things we pass off as trivial aren't so trivial after all. If what I'm about to say to someone (joke or not) is something I'd be offended by if they said it to me, then I shouldn't say it at all.

Ever had to go back and apologise for something you jokingly said to someone? Or has someone apologised to you for what they jokingly said to you? What was that like? Love to read your responses in the comments!❤️

Catch you in the next post!

Chich